listening softens

From Taking Our Places: the Buddhist Path to Truly Growing Up by Zen teacher Zoketsu Norman Fischer (and here is beautiful teaching I found there, just now, that he gave on the four levels of Torah interpretation that I also mentioned in my d'var below)
Listening is magic. It turns a person from an object outside, opaque or dimly threatening, into an intimate experience, and therefore into a friend. In this way, listening softens and transforms the listener.